No Question

this post will be dedicated to me doing humanity a service: answering questions for random and anonymous people via Yahoo! Answers. I'll make sure to delve into several areas, and of course, I will be posting these answers for the actual question posers to read and use. I mean, I've been blessed with this plethora of knowledge- it's only right that I share!


(my answers wil be in red)



1. Dan asks if he looks "better in photo 1 or photo 2." Photo 2 would be good if your hair didnt look like you stole it off the floor of a dog grooming salon. Photo 1 works as soon as you pick your pillow up off the floor.





2. Golden Eye asks: "What was the last literature piece I read that inspired me spiritually?" God Explained in a Taxi Ride, by Paul Arden (my new favorite author, at least until Robert Greene's next book). Arden's books are all about 100 or so pages in large font with pictures, so any of his books can be read in around 30 minutes. The best thing about his books are that they always challenge our paradigms about life; from how we perceive our potential as people, to how we make life decisions, to our belief in God (or lack thereof).







3. Twist says "I caught a gay guy checkin me out today, that was the first time ive had that happen? got me to thinking....am i ugly to gay guys? whys that the first one that i have ever noticed noticing me?" Well, Twist, Im not gay but i can theorize that what is attractive to a straight woman would be equally attractive to a gay man. So, if no gay guys check you out, you probaby also have noticed that no women ever check you out, either.... Or, maybe you should just hang around more gay guys- if you're attractive, they'll be checking you out and you'll feel a lot better about yourself, even if you feel great already! haha...







4. Maverick asks if Do you bite your tongue a lot...to be the bigger person in most situations?..? In my opinion, this is a common misperception in our society: not speaking up, and suppressing our opinions/ egos makes us 'bigger' or 'better' than the next woman. if you have something to say, speak up! closed mouths dont get fed. I'm not saying you have to make arguments out of things, but if you are "biting your tongue," obviously there is something you feel the need to express. how can another person understand you or your point of view if you dont tell or show them? so the answer to your qustion, for me, is a resounding "No." holding back what you have to say doesnt make you "bigger." it makes you smaller.







5. Celebrity Hotline has a good question: "What is a nice way to tell someone they are clearing their throat too much? I am visiting my mom and she is clearing her throat 2-3 x a minute. She started doing this 10 years ago. I hinted that something was wrong by asking if there was something wrong if she was sick but she didn't get the hint. it is really disgusting and bothersome. I loathe my mom sometimes because of this. what can I do, bc I really don't even want to visit her again. I live 2000 miles away. since i started typing this question, she has cleared her throat 8 times." Dammit, tell your mom that, if nothing is wrong with her throat, stop doing it so dam much!! you're annoying the hell out of me, and i cant even concentrate on our conversations, TV, anything because of your incessant throat clearing!! if your mother's habit is so bad that you are looking for answers on the internet, it's a little too late to be just dropping hints- speak up to her and be clear (pun intended)!! go to the local 7-eleven and buy her a big bag of Halls throat lozenges... or get her that throat voice thing that folks who've smoked too many cigarettes use.











6. Deejay16 hits close to home: "Are You Barefoot Shy Around The Opposite Sex?" Well, that all depends on two factors: 1) who this particular opposite-sex member would have been; 2) the state of my feet at the moment. I never had any problems with my feet my entire life; i even did a promo in a crowded NYC-area Macy's once, barefoot, and actually got one female compliment on my size-13s. then i spent some time in Mexico playing basketball, and got this nasty infection that.... okay, wont go into details on that one. but to answer your inquiry, i think barefoot-confidence is an extension of one's overall confidence. though i wont be attending any foot model casting calls, im not shy about letting the socks fly.








7. Kingthe6: "I bought a book today and the title of the book is 'how to make firends with Black people' the sales person look at me funny when i bought the book do u think i should tell the store manager on him?" i researched this one, and the only close-to-matching title i found was Making Friends with Black People by Nick Adams (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b/002-2547459-0302463?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=how+to+make+friends+with+black+people), and this book is purely for comedy purposes. But, since you seem to be interested in the topic, ill give you some tips on making some Black friends; get your money back from the bookstore and send me 55%....


- dont use the N word, even if the Black people around you are using it, even saying it to you.


- if you dont kow much about the 'hood, rap music, or Black women, dont pretend that you do.


- stay true to your personal style- if you're an Abercrombie guy, dont go buying fitted hats and white tees. that will make you a clown.


- since you may not have many Black friends at this point (im assuming), allow me to shoot down some stereotypes: "Yo!" is not the only way we get another person's attention; not all of us know how to rap; we DO have old Britney Spears songs on our iPods (or is that just me???); cant confirm this one, but i dont think all of our men have incrediby-sized penises.


good luck! dont forget to send me 55% of the oney you would have spent on that book.








8. Ashu is having problems on the 9 to 5: "My job trainer is rude to me...
i am going for an office admin job.itz my first job with no exp.this is my third day.i don't understand some concepts regarding packing slips,invoices ,work orders etc.so i keep asking again to make it clear for me.the girl who is training me is getting pissed of and she was complaining in her native language to the boss that i got no brain and she is tired of teaching me... i know that language and i understood what she said.it really hurts coz i try very hard.... i feel so low...what do i do?" Ashu, you've got 4 choices: 1) quit, and get another job. if you could get that one, you can get yourself hired for another one. 2) whoop that trick!! if she is being disrespectful, smack her upside her dam head, slam down a box and tell her that you're new and need time to learn, just like when she was new. that'll get her attention real quick! or say smething to her in your native language; she'll immediately remember what she said about you and how she thought you didnt know what she was saying. 3) learn your job responsibilities. like, now. she's frustrated, it seems, with teaching you things she appears to feel you should already know. so get it together. 4) talk to the trainer's boss, and get her to stop being rude, or get a new trainer. to get rid of a problem, go directly at it and eliminate it!











9. Darin8r's question deserves to be printed in full: "Why do most blacks avoid tipping pizza delivery drivers? I'm a delivery driver, and am not racist, so don't even go there --as this could easily be proven with scientific data for christs sake. And for those that say it's because they don't make enough money, then perhaps they should be spending their money on something more economically beneficial to their family instead of ordering expensive delivery pizza. I mean damn, if you can't afford to sling a buck at your delivery driver, you should probably be buying a weeks-worth of groceries with what you spent on your nights-worth of pizza.

not only does the majority of blacks not give tips, but I'd say that atleast 40% call back and complain about their order, and request free food or compensation.another interesting thing to note, is that I find that it takes most blacks far longer to answer the door after the initial knocking. I'd say it occasionally can span into the 5 minute range.Ofcourse this is all related to which "hood" you visit, and although I can't post raw data to prove this atm, I will be collecting some over the course of the next few months.And to those who label me as a racist:I find the american ***** (I prefer to call them "the blackanese") in particular to be a peculiar and interesting species. I simply wish to learn about their rules of etiquette... so if you are black, feel free to enlightenment me as to why I don't get good tips from most blacks, despite how good the service is.

btw that word bleeped out it not what you may think it is... it's actually the correct and supposedly non-offensive terminology for afro-americans, to which boggles my mind as to why yahoo would bleep it.

I have ask them why on numerous occasions. Some excuses are decent, to which I would agree warrant action to be taken in-store. Usually I then proceed to call the store myself while at their door, and get store credit on their behalf or at the very least compensation of some sort.Some of them feel guilty when you ask, and actually do give you a meager tip. Some just genuinely don't know it's etiquette, but gladly give you one if you mention it.But at the end of the day, most will say "I aint gots no mo' money yo"Which when translated to traditional english, basicly means they are broke.And most service complaints are completely ridiculous and unjustified and are clearly just an attempt at getting the aforementioned compensation or discount."

Deep breath... first of all, mister Delivery Man, you lose all credibility in the first line of your question by saying "Most" Blacks don't give tips. I dont know where you live and work, but I can assume you're not delivering anything close to 50% of the pizza that is consumed in the US every year, so "most" is an innaccurate measurement of your sample size, which i'll assume is a small area of a city or town. If my assumption is incorrct, I invite you to show me the "scientific data" you say proves your theory. And I pass no judgement on what you do for your own money, but as a pizza delivery guy, is it sensible for you to be giving financial advice out to people you are hoping to receive a dollar from?

if 40% of your customers are calling to complain, then it should come as no suprise that you arent getting tips! if something is wrong with the food and/or service, you pizza shop has not done its job correctly. Since you believe you are entitled to a tip, I'm guessing you also subscribe to another cliche: "The csutomer is always right."And you shuld be careful about how you throw the word "most" around. Your question is full of blanket statements about Black people. To many that read your question, it can be justifiably assumed that you are somewhat, if not totally, racist.

I dont think you're racist. Going by the vocabulary you use, and from the 2000 US Census data, I'll assume you're a Caucasian male between ages 25-40. Though not exactly racist, Mr. Delivery Guy, you are attempting to push through some negative stereotypes about Black people when you have dealt with less than 1% of African American population in this country. So, instead of racist, let's just call you "ignorant."

And since your service is so good, quit the pizza joint and become a waiter at a nice restaurant; the tips are better, and you dont have to drive around to hope for a dollar. You'll thank me later.

Note: the blanked- out word is "Negro."



10. Beej gets a full print as well: "Why are black people so loud? In movie theaters, walking down the street, shouting to the person next to them?

Details. I live in Chicago, have black friends, & had a black friend live with me for 2 years. So, to each of you calling me ignorant; theirs nothing ignorant about my question. I'm sure there are soft spoken black people, I'm sure there are black people that don't speak at all. What I'm saying is that at 2 in the morning, if you hear a group of guys walking down the street being loud, laughing & yelling at eachother, chances are, they're black. I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm just asking why. So, pull your panties out of your as*, & don't be so sensitive. And one more thing, my roommate Prince (his real name), agreed with me on this subject, but didn't have an answer."

Well, Beej, you ARE ignorant, for several reasons which I'll explain:

• having Black friends and Black roomate does not grant you immunity if you open your mouth and make stereotypical statements about Black people. Your disclaimer basically screams out, "I'm about to make some stereotypical, borderline-racist-depending-on-your-point-of-view statements about Black people."
• you meant to write "THERE'S nothing ignorant," not "theirs." Type-o? I think not. Not being able to spell is ignorant.
• If I were to say, "If you see a group of teenage girls in the mall, in packs of 4-5, chewing gum, looking at boys, using cell phones, and not doing much actual shopping, chances are they're White." Some (White) people may agree with this statement, I may have 1,000 White friends, and maybe I live with the Brady Bunch- it's still ignorant.
  

The answers to this one are pretty interesting; you should check them out yourself at Yahoo: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080308082220AAEWSD5&r=w&pa=FZptHWf.BGRX3OFPgTFVWOtIbPxeWYsWBEdyzCukE50rOgucuQ--&paid=answered#HLNxPzbaWGlXOJB4V403

You have to be a member to put your three cents into the discussion.

UPDATE: My answer to #2 was chosen Best Answer by the questioner. Hooray Me!!!